Family Patterns – Like Family Secrets – Repeat Themselves

by Tiffany | May 11, 2021 11:20 pm

I’ve mentioned this in two other previous blog posts but I have really been getting into genealogy and building my family tree. I’ve been also been helping my little sister with our maternal side. It’s also so interesting and I can easily spend all day on it when I was supposed to be doing something else lol.

To start out, I believe I figured out why my mother’s half-sister was never mentioned. When I first found out about her she only had a death date and it was the year that their father also died. So, I assumed that it was his daughter from this 2nd/3rd wife, but it was she was from his fourth/last wife, and she was the one who originally put the information on ancestry. So, I believe that the only death date was probably because the birth/date happened in one day.

What I have noticed about this last wife, her tree includes my mom and her siblings, and actually, my twin and I and all the other grandchildren he (mom’s father) had in 1988 but his sibling who knows he had kids refuses to knowledge them. There is literally no excuse either since they are all listed on his find a grave. So, his fourth wife, awesome and wish I got to talk to her before she died. The rest of them, trash.

I found a Facebook page for them, where they are planning their pandemic family reunion, and I kind of want to crash it (the page), and comment as I am serious and be like I’m me, daughter of mom, granddaughter of guy, etc just so they can’t ignore my mom and how she is already, in my opinion, more family then in my opinion they are. Though, obviously that is a gate I don’t want to open up.

Another thing I found out like I have seen a lot of adoptees searching for their birth families, but only one who is a close relative, she is a 2nd cousin, it was posted about by a family member on Facebook. So, I see her tree because it is public on ancestry, and it has actually changed a lot from the first time I see it. I have been checking it and looking because I’m super nosey, and I want to know how she fits in. Before she had my paternal great half-uncle on her paternal side, now it’s on her maternal side.

So my paternal great half-uncle is possible her great grandfather I’m going to call him Earl. So, Earl and the possible great grandmother who I call Betty had her grandmother (calling her Beth) in the late 1940s. Earl was in the military and wasn’t from the area that Betty was so I am assuming their meeting was military-related. None of the other trees from the Earl line mention Earl and Betty’s daughter so either he bounced or wasn’t told. The find a grave for Beth never mentioned a father, so I don’t think she knew of Earl, but it’s still possible that there was another “father” by lies or otherwise.

In the late ’60s was when Beth had the mother who I’m calling Brit, and the year I was born so was the 2nd cousin same month. She was placed for adoption and four months later she was married and two months after that Britt was pregnant again, having 4 children, not including the second cousin. Also, I changed my mind about the DNA test, so I know for sure she is my 2nd cousin because we share 154cMs, which no matter what we would be 2nd cousins, but if she is marked to the right great grandfather she would technically be a half 2nd cousin, but she has a bigger probability of being my full second. However, I question if I have full 2nd cousins to be honest (we will get back to that.)

So, that is what I know so far unless of course, that changes, because I’ve watched that tree change more than five times. If that happens I will probably just make a new post and not update the post tbh.

I have a cousin I don’t know where they fall on the cousin chart yet, I know they are related though. So, this stepmother hired someone who kill his father for the insurance money so we know she is a horrible human. When it went to court she literally got a slap on the wrist and the father was a dumbass and stayed with her and never believe facts.

A while later someone brutally murdered her at her job, and her whole family being the trash they blamed the cousin, he spent time in jail (I don’t think it was a full month, but it was more than a week). had this reputation ruined, and etc. When the cops finally did their job, they released him because he had an alibi that checked out and that should have been checked before they sent him to jail. When I read about this I felt so bad, he had his father’s life threatened, his step-family lie about him, and was blamed for a murder.

One of the things I found was for a third cousin, his guy had like 3 alias, has multiple mugshots online for DUIs, one of them happened while is wife was sick and dying. Then his kids don’t seem to want anything to do with him, and his father obituary actually did not refer to him as his legal name but his alias, and it makes me wonder if running from the law lol.

One of the 4th cousins once removed someone uploaded her mugshot on ancestry. LOL, I died, it was so funny to me.

Another crazy thing is actually something I knew about before I started my genealogy journey but is something I am looking more into now. We only found all this out a month before my papa died. (This is my paternal grandpa, so same side of the other drama, and I actually never met my maternal grandfather so). He has two legal names, there is the one he doesn’t go by, refuses to knowledge and it is on his birth certificate, bank, insurance, drivers license, cards, etc, the second name he used, and it was on his death certificate, and social security card, and some other stuff.

Not only that on his birth certificate it has some woman that no one has ever heard of as his birth mother, with his father. However, his mother that we all know/knew about was on the rest of his documents as his birth mother. She (the known mother) was on his death certificate, obituary, etc. Like from what I understand when my dad was told about this seemingly random person was on his father’s (papa) birth certificate, it was spoken about by my papa as if it was a normal thing. So, it makes me wonder if the woman on his birth certificate was really his birth mother, and I wonder if he knew the truth and refuse to knowledge and just took the truth to his grave, or he never knew and just accepted that for some random ass reason his mother couldn’t be on his birth certificate. Also, why if his known other was his biological mother would someone else be on his birth certificate?

Like it was a live birth certificate how was another name put on there if it wasn’t the birth mother? Right? Like, am I missing something here. Also Papa’s father my great-grandfather was 29, and the woman listed on the birth certificate was 19 (that was also the same age as the known mother), so there are so many red flags right now, and so much creepiness. Also, my dad described papa’s dad as not a good person and said he was hateful. So, being a cheater, and possibly much more seems super likely in my opinion.

My matches on ancestry aren’t much help, like but their a lot of last names of both the known mother and the other mother, but all of the known mother matches are all related to either my paternal grandmother or maternal grandfather, none are linked to my papa’s side. The matches of the other mother their trees are either private or nonexistent so nothing can be confirmed. However, my twin did a 23 and me test a while back and she checked her matches for the last of our great-grandma, and the woman’s last who was on the birth certificate. Our great-grandma’s maiden last name wasn’t there, but the other mother’s name was.

So, I know what I believe, but I just don’t have enough information to confirm or deny it, but this is essentially why I don’t believe I have any full 2nd cousins at least on my paternal side, but I could be wrong. We will see, but it’s really hard to get over that birth certificate tbh.

My uncle said that he was told that the name on there was the known mother’s sister which makes no sense. One the other mother was not born in the same state was sister, was older, and never seemed to be in the state where grandfather(papa) was born, and they didn’t have the same name first or last. That seemed plausible to him and my dad though. ಠ_ಠ

That all I have for now, but how do you feel about uncovering family secrets?

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