When It’s the End of One Thing and the Beginning of Another

by Tiffany | January 5, 2021 7:34 pm

In Tarot the 13th card is The Death Card and it means transition, and the end of one thing and the beginning of another. This card is an interesting symbol for the New Years but also an obvious choice to take about death. So, that was the introduction to what this post is about.

So, before the holidays my family had been dealt a blow, it had been a little over a year since my grandpa who everyone called papa died, and while at the beginning of the year my cousin’s grandma died and we went to that funeral which was before Covid became known the US, and it was actually around that time we believe my dad had it because looking back he had all the symptoms and he is still using an inhaler to breathe but we can’t find out. Especially since the antibodies don’t last that long, and by the time that test came out it had been over half a year, and now it’s been a year so yeah.

I had really hoped I wouldn’t have to go to another funeral in 2020 but it seems like this was in a long line of deaths that happened over the last few years. My aunt died very unexpectedly and she wasn’t at that age. She didn’t really have any health issues and no one saw it coming. Basically one moment she was alive and then next she wasn’t. We do know that it was a possibility that she had Covid, which we didn’t know until recently. Other than that we don’t know the cause of death.

The funeral was the only “non-essential” thing I have been to this year (once Covid was known), but I don’t really count that as non-essential, and everyone wore masks and the funeral was socially distanced, except for my grandma who kept complaining about wearing the mask and making jokes about how fat she was when I am bigger than her. It just wasn’t appropriate.

About the beginning of the years, a lot of people make resolutions I don’t, I feel like that is setting myself up for failure as I have never had any success doing so. I make goals which I have been successful for the most part at, the only thing I didn’t meet was my writing goal as I had a lot of trouble with creative writing but that is okay. My goals are basically the same as last year but do better than last year.

I’ve been binging some stuff, my rewatches have been Inuyasha, American Dad, and Code Lyoko. The new thing I have been watching is Long Lost Family, I cried like the whole time watching it even though personally I do not think there is a bond DNA like that. Like a lot of the episode has the adoptee saying they did A B C D and none of their adopted family did these things and come to find out their biological matches did. That’s odd to me because music, color guard, drum corp, graphics, coding, art, activism, writing, etc are only things that my twin and I are into (and my youngest little sister is into some) but my parents, aunts, other cousins, grandparents, etc aren’t at all.

I would 100% call myself, twin, and really tbh my dad on my father’s side the black sheep. We are just different, it is what is but yeah. While I have a really big bond with my dad, because of him not DNA, bonding with someone takes love and time. I think while I love this show it discounts adopted families a lot, especially you see these adoptees talking about how they never had that bond because of DNA when there are many people who don’t bond with their biological family because DNA doesn’t make that bond. It just frustrates me because I think we should be encouraging others to adopt and foster.

I mean if by some strange fucked up event happened I personally found out I was adopted, nothing would change for me. I would not seek anyone out. That is just my opinion. I feel like that would be impossible though tbh. This is why I would never do DNA testing, plus anyone could possibly get their hands on that, and while I have been doing my family tree I made that shit private and such.

So, a random thing I wanted to meant since we have been talking about genetics. According to genetics my twin and I only have a 12% chance of being blonde, but we are, my older little sister is a redhead but only had a 5% chance of that, and my youngest little sister is like 5% chance she would have redhead also but she is a redhead. So DNA is just weird as fuck. We all (besides the twin and I) are all 7 years apart and are all cusp of our astrology signs. So, I just thought that was cool. So my twin and I are Aries but are Aries-Pisces cusp, while our youngest sister is a Pisces but Pisces-Aries cusp. Then the older little sister is a Leo and a Leo-Virgo cusp. I just thought it was cool for all the sisters to be these things. Plus how all of us are sisters, which has more to do with our fathers than mom lol.

So, the election has come and gone kind of, but Covid is still here and my mom still thinks this is a hoax, despite facts. Also despite saying that it would disappear after the election, why has it disappeared mother?! Because tbh I wish it would but yeah.

I haven’t really watched Youtube for a long time regularly, for a while when I first when vegan I was watching vegantubers, but that didn’t really watch for long because mostly I didn’t need to. Well, except for Hot for Food because I love her recipes. I just haven’t been into YouTubers except for the occasional random videos and paternity court sometimes. However recently there has been a rise in crimetubers, essayistubers, commentarytuber, etc so those are really up my alley. So, I have started watching Creepshow Art, Bailey Sarian, Lady White Rabbit, Sarah Z, and Stephanie Harlowe. There are more but these are the main ones. I just think it was like the right type of videos for me came at the right time, because before YouTube was all about Beautytubers and GamePlayTubers which are things that I am not really into. So, for the longest time, Youtube just wasn’t my place, and now it is.

So, for the time being, I am going to start blogging regularly again, but it will be an every other week thing. I feel like now this is a good pace for me and it what I like now. If that changes I’ll let you know.

So, that was a lot. So, because I like to end these things on a question here is mine to you is do you have a favorite YouTuber? Let me know.

Source URL: https://loveiszero.net/?p=4112