Living Through It

by Tiffany | April 6, 2020 6:22 pm

So, the revamp went a lot longer than I initially wanted this done in a week but that didn’t happen. However, as you can see I am now finished and reopened. I hope I never have to pause the site for longer than a week again because I for sure did not like it. I missed my weekly blog and updates for sure. For this week, my Tuesday blog is happening today, but next week things will go back to normal.

With revamping the site, the first thing is I very much underestimated what I needed to do to, and did need more time. However, the second thing is that the week I closed it was right as they were closing schools in Florida for K-12 and my little sister was dealing with a similar situation with her college. It was just a lot of stress and anxiety for me, and it was like everything with and about Covid-19 hit me all at once.

Something to know about me is I am an overthinker, and I am to be completely honest a very paranoid person. So, that didn’t help. What also didn’t help was any time I could I was watching the news. I would go to sleep with everything eating at me, and my chess and head hurting, which for me is a big sign of my anxiety my heartbeat will beat very hard and I can feel it in my head. It doesn’t help that I have a very active mind, so when I would go to sleep to turn that off, it wouldn’t work because then my brain would go on overdrive.

To control how I was feeling I had to force myself to only watch the news and look at media or statistics once a day, and I’ve started working again. To be honest, by working out I mean only jumping on the stationary bike for 15 minutes a day, and some arm exercises. It’s not much but both of these things do help my mental health.

So, as every decent American, (which sadly isn’t enough of us) I’ve been 100% practicing social distancing and staying at home/sheltering in place for the last almost month now when all possible, even when it wasn’t recommended by the federal or state government. Which Florida was late to that party, and hasn’t done enough. This is very easy for me since I am very anti-social, but I just wish I found out about Covid-19 sooner, I found out about it in early-ish March, and I do see a lot now about the US was warned and how people knew about it in January. It was like a big boom of information that happened.

Now in my town and in my state, there is no one taking this seriously, even during the stay at home order by the governor who is really just a mini cheeto. This is ignoring the fact that the stay at home order is not much different than the social distancing that was already happening. The differences are that the governor is now allowing churches to continue services because you know fuck being safe, and none essential business are closed, but now most are just operating online. People are still stuffing into Walmart, and lining up daily at Costco, they go to the stores to dillydally around, they won’t social distance, and they want to be less than six feet apart. It’s infuriating.

I recently had to go to the store, and honestly, after that, I hope I don’t need anything else or have to go back. People in my town just don’t care and think that this is a vacation for the earth, it’s just sad. I tried my best to avoid others, but other people intentionally want to be never less than six feet away and they don’t believe in social distancing. In fact, my older neighbors has left their home more now than they ever did before the pandemic. The other one is still going to church it’s like I don’t understand, which now a lot of the churches are going online.

Most, of the people who are in the same small town that I am in think that Covid-19 is just the flu and they believe and follow fix news like it’s the gospel, and believe in everything cheeto said even though he was hasn’t been true as proven by actual professionals and since he and his pos partner put a gag order on the CDC about everything concerning Covid-19. They don’t care because it doesn’t affect them, and that is the same as the governor, he is too busy getting private medical care for his wife and new baby, not giving a shit about his state.

I think it’s really telling that this is the same governor who refused to put in a shelter in place order for the state until recently, and when he did it was a stay at home order and barely more than what we already had. He also made it so the cities that had better orders and rules that protected them have had that taken away with a worse order. This is the governor who blamed every other country and state but not who he should have himself. He was someone who cared more about profits, the beaches staying open, and prioritizing the spring breakers than about lives.

So in my town, there is currently as I write this post 13 positive cases and in town that is not testing anyone, and when the few who need testing try to get tested they are denied. We are a very town with a very small population, and the health department here won’t confirm at all the cases are from the bad nursing home here, even though people know they are. This is the same nursing and rehab center who mistreated and almost killed my grandpa and is the reason he died. They are intentionally harming the elders there and no one is doing anything about it. They are nasty and the places us gross and never clean, and they don’t care about the people they are supposed to be taken care of and I know this for a fact. I just hate that people are going to get because of this play and no one seems to care.

I’ve mention this a few times but I am former military, a Navy Veteran so I do keep up a lot with what is going on in the military and the Navy especially. One of the big stories right now is about Captain Brett Crozier who is was the skipper on the USS Theodore Roosevelt. He asked for help from big Navy for his sailors on his ship who many of them have Covid-19, and put his career on the line. Just from personal experience, there are many COs/Skippers who don’t give a shit and or care about anyone but themselves and Captain Brett Crozier is fucking hero. Captain Brett Crozier is the Navy core values of Honor, Courage, and Commitment.

Yet, the Navy and SecNav choose to be pieces of shit and force him out to cover their asses, because they can’t have a good captain in the Navy. This was someone who paid more than lip service to his sailors and I guess the Navy couldn’t have that. Like the Hero he was his sailors chanted his name as he left the ship, and as SecNavy addressed his and the Navy’s mess that they could have chosen to fix he talked ship about the Skipper and about possible future president Biden. As of yesterday, 42% of the USS Theodore Roosevelt tested positive for Covid-19 and then so did Captain Brett Crozier. Which could have been prevented, and Captain Brett Crozier tried to prevent it.

Then that fucking cheeto, talked shit about the hero Captain Brett Crozier and did nothing to help him or his sailors. He is to blame because he could have help and he chose not to. So, when people want to say that the pos in office care about The Military (which was never true) I will bring this up. If he wanted to pretend to care he should have done something about this. Honestly, thinking about the injustice that happened to Captain Brett Crozier and his sailors brings tears to my tears and hurts my heart.

In Florida, as of now the deaths we had doubled in four days. Yet, the governor reversed the protections that a lot of the mayors gave their communities like allowing churches to gather despite the obvious risk. I’m just going to say it, if your “church” makes you go during a global pandemic then your not in a church your in a cult.

Like I love my mom, but she is one of those people who believes that everything is a conspiracy, and this global pandemic is no different. She thinks that Covid-19 is just the flu and nothing to worry about because it is just to distract people from underground tunnels and that this was all made up by democrats to hurt cheeto. I just want her to be safe but that is pretty hard when she chooses not to believe in this.

Seeing what a lot of my friends and family are going through right now, makes me glad that I have chosen not to have children and to be single. Since, to be honest if I was locked inside with kids all day I would probably rip my hair out.

I have seen a lot of people be very productive lately, especially with writing fanfiction and it seemed like everyone at first, and it just made me feel bad for not being in the right headspace because of my anxiety to be able to write. I had to remind myself that it was okay if March was not a good month for me and that I can’t compare myself, because I am okay. Sucks that my birthday was during March though.

It’s just very crazy to think about everything that happened because it happened so fast and so quickly, and nothing feels like it will ever be the same. It’s crazy to think about how we lived through 9/11 and now through this.

I am actually excited about everything I put into the site. The new theme with the new art I drew on there, so this is my fourth theme with my own art. I worked on responsiveness and accessibility a lot, and I really wanted the reader view/mode icon (in chrome/firefox) to work on this theme, and it did on the testing site but once I moved it then it no longer worked and disabling plugins did not change that. So, I installed an accessibility plugin and a print friend plugin. Clicking the print friendly button at the end of the post or page will pop up a printer-friendly version that is very similar to the reader view/mode.

Then I add shadowbox to the site, and while it’s not on everything because I don’t think it needs to be, it’s on everything that it needs to be. Then the plugin I was using for tabs in the fanfiction section stopped working, so I deleted it and searched for something suitable. Then added tabs to the icon page to be more organized and easy for others.

Now I’m just going to go over really quickly what I added because it was lot.

Signatures – 13
Chapter Images – 1
Story Banners -11
Blends – 13
Headers – 2
Icons – 11
Manipulations – 7
Colorizations – 6
Moodboards – 11 (new section)
Art – 5
Pixel Art – 3
1 Chapter
Coloring PSDS – 22
Texture Packs – 2
Brush Packs – 4
Tutorials – 10

So I’m very proud of everything that I did and hope to keep it up mostly on the Art and Fanfiction.

So, yall just let me know how yall are doing and I won’t do another long break like this that isn’t unannounced, I might do one during NaNoWriMo but everyone will definitely know detail when that happens and if that happens.

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