Single & Doesn’t Want to Mingle

by Tiffany | November 6, 2018 7:26 am

I think if your a female and not in a relationship people always push you why not, oh the right guy is around the corner as if I care. I don’t need a guy or anyone else to define who I am, and I don’t need a man to make me feel whole or complete. Everyone always assumes that if especially a woman is single, that it must be because either A there is something wrong with her, B She isn’t dateable, or C that she is waiting or pine for the right guy. Which literally are bullshit reasons, maybe we don’t want some stab of fat attached to us where we have to be responsible for some man-child, or it could be because we don’t need to have some random guy to be happy because we are happy on our own. I like to be alone, I like not having to check and be dependant on someone else to live my own best life.

Why would I want to complicate my life with that? What would they bring to the table? I would have to worry about if they would like and get along with my friends and family, and if I would get along with theirs. Chances are is that wouldn’t, my friends and family are the complicated types, and complex and strong opinionated and I wouldn’t have it any other way (except some of their actual bad opinions), my mom would probably rub them and their family the wrong way to be honest. My friends are very much like minded like me, so they may or may not be liked. Either way, I would choose them. Reserve that, I would have to like their friends and family and I probably wouldn’t. Especially, when I call out SO’s racist mom.

I like my life and I enjoy not having to text someone to keep up with what they want or report to them like I was on probation. I see it a lot with friends and family, they have to keep in constant contact with their SO, they have to call, reply, or text right away or there is an issue. No, thank you. If I do something, watch something, or go somewhere I will not consult or ask someone to do so. I am an adult, not a child asking for permission. I don’t have to worry about them complaining about what I like and what I do. I like to be alone, and solo time to yourself is great. I can be me without worry about what anyone else thinks.

Relationships always come with drama, and besides what other people drag me into because they suck my life is relatively drama free the way I like it. I don’t need someone to bring unnecessary disturbance and trash into my life. You don’t have to only worry about them bring this mess into your life, you have to worry about their friends and family doing so also. I don’t want all that stress, and I don’t need it.

I have shared things all my life, with my twin sister, with my little sisters, and with my horrible ex-step siblings, I am clearly capable of sharing, but I don’t want to share my personal shit with a SO. I don’t want to share my time, my love, my bed, or my room. Like seriously, if I ever get into a serious relationship I want my own room and bed. I need my own space. Like the last thing I want is to try to be sleeping, and a SO will try to be touching and cuddling with me. Gross, no. Don’t touch me and don’t cuddle with me.

My standards are supposedly pretty high, I like to call it what it is being a decent person. My SO should 100% be a Feminist (intersectional), I want someone who believes in equality. That is so important and pretty much the bases for everything else I have to say, legit it’s non-negotiable (actually none of these are). This is a very important part of who I am and how I see the world. Mortals and Ethics and how I believe is important to me, and I want someone who matches that. They have to be able to recognize their own privilege, or at least they are trying to. This is whatever privilege that they have, and if they are male, they automatically have male privilege and that should be easy for them to see. I know that seeing other versions of privilege isn’t always easy, but if they can’t and refuse to see it than I don’t want to spend time with them. Doesn’t slut or fat shame others, those are just nasty things to do to another person and it shows that the person isn’t that good. Not to mention I am on the fatter side, I don’t want someone who will make me feel bad about that.

Can not be a self-proclaimed nice guy or have nice guy syndrome. If you have to say you are a nice guy, you are probably not. Get over yourself, because your supposedly nice doesn’t make a girl your reward, and doesn’t make it okay for you to friend a girl so you can hopefully sleep with her. Can’t discriminate against others, that just makes you a bad person. Wants to challenge ableism, ageism, and classism, both of those are issues in our society more than ever and need to change. I want someone who is as big into change as I am. Is an ally to the LGBT+ community, and will fight for them. If your not someone looking at the current administration and challenge it then you can’t be with me. They can’t be sexist, or misogynist, why would I want to be with someone who is going to believe that cis men are superior to women, assumes harmful things about women, and hates women. I don’t and no women should.

Someone who believes in the gender binary isn’t someone who should be with me, believing that there are men roles and women roles is inherently hurtful especially since there are more than two genders, and gender is completely fluid. The eraser of inter-sex, trans, and non-binary is gross and isn’t allowed with me. Especially, when science backs what I believe and is a fact. They can’t be racist, transphobic, and they have to support Black Lives Matter. They can’t support toxic masculinity as that is harmful to everyone. They have to care about the animals and the environment. Vegans preferred. None of those things have to do with money, looks, or cars it’s all about being a decent person, and caring in general. So, if my standards are too high, maybe those people are too low. I will not lower them, and I will not settle.

I don’t have to split holidays or vacations with someone else’s family and friends who I probably don’t want to visit since I want to see my own. I don’t want to have to not see who I want on special occasions.

Being undermined in a relationship because of the sex you were born, being female comes with a lot of burdens that most men couldn’t handle, that includes being challenged, undermined, and disrespected at all times and most of the time from people I don’t even know. I wouldn’t want that in a relationship, and even feminist men like to mansplain and talk over you, in which I wouldn’t call them feminist. Women can do the exact same, and they can hate other women just as much as men. I don’t want to be in a place that I am supposed to be safe and have to constantly defend myself.

One of the best things about being single is that I don’t have to do anything I don’t want to or share my time in any way. I very much think that a relationship should be equal, and in that, if your SO is willing to do something they don’t want to do to make you happy, you should do the same. Yet, I don’t want to do things in my free time I dislike and would rather not do, so I choose to say single.

I don’t have to impress anyone, not that I would anyways but it would be pretty much expected of me. How I dress, why I don’t want to wear makeup, and why I am not shaving my legs for them. I’m not here to be someone’s trophy, and I won’t be.

Sharing food is another reason, I obviously eat vegan so I am not going to change that or cook non-vegan food for anyone, I want if I get into a relationship someone I can eat with and not someone who will just complain about my weird vegan food when all it all is just plants.

All in all, I am just inherently too selfish to want to be in a relationship and I am okay with that.

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