Don’t put that on me, It’s not fair

by Tiffany | January 7, 2020 5:49 pm

So, recently I was able to visit some family in another state, and family should make you feel good and loved. That isn’t always the case, sometimes you just come back home to feel relief because you left early for your own sanity. And everyone’s sanity that was on the trip. Right, after the holidays my twin came home and that is always enjoyable, and not only so she deals with her bunnies especially the mean one.

Trigger Warning, mentions of suicide.

Besides my twin, I got to enjoy seeing my youngest sister. We went to a little pizza place that had a vegan pizza, that tasted amazing! Not very many places where I live have options, and the ones that do are about an hour away. Luckily, some fast food places are catching up but I don’t want to eat a lot of fast food and I don’t eat a lot of fast food. That is more an just a rare thing, or when I am traveling thing. Anyways, I loved my time with the youngest sister, she is in college and doing amazing. That was so not at all stressful to be around her, and she is just a delight. As I type this the voice in my head makes all of this sounds sarcastic, but I am not being sarcastic, I’m being serious lol.

Then my twin, dad, and I had gotten a small Airbnb and my mom after we told her no, and that there wasn’t enough room volunteered us for others to stay with us, and we had to be the bad guys and turn them away. I don’t know what it is with my mom and listening, but they don’t go together. Like, legit I love her but jesus christ she is herself, and that is hard most of the time.

Then my other little sister is dating someone who is over half her age and called me drunk one night, then told me if it wasn’t for my twin and me that she would kill herself, as lay her burden at us, and to say if she did do that it would be our fault because we are what is keeping her alive. That’s not only fucked up, it fucks someone one (us) up. It’s seriously not fair to do that, I don’t want that one me and neither does my twin.

I can’t keep repeating the same things over and over hoping that she will listen. She refuses to get help or help herself, and she would rather use alcohol to numb herself. I suggested not drinking, therapy, etc but she doesn’t think that any of that is a good idea. She is over 18 so I can’t force her, and either could anyone else.

After everything, we decided to leave a day early. I am happy to be at home.

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