I am not sure if it’s just because I am unlucky or that I attract creeps but I have more than my fair share of stalkers, online I’ve had a lot, but offline I’ve had two, that is two more than most. So, here is my stories about this.

The first stalker is someone who was in the Navy with me, so this was over ten-ish years ago now, but I remember living in Japan and being on base a lot. I use to hang out at the Food Court or the USO a lot, it had free internet. I normally hung out there either alone or with my twin, and it was way before I learned how to be a bitch and use defense mechanism. This is actually what started me figuring all that out. I was always nice, quiet, and shy, which is why I was a perfect prey to any stalker especially in an environment like the Navy where rape culture is at an all-time high. Luckily, none of that was taken advance of like that but it makes me sad for the other females in the Navy who are like me because the word no did not use to exist for me.

So, I use to hang out at those places, sometimes alone, it was in Japan and I felt safe there. So safe that I would sometimes walk home in the middle of the night by myself, I didn’t think it very occurred to me that shouldn’t feel that way. It wasn’t the United States. So, when you hang out you notice some people who are also always there at the same place, I just assumed that they were there for the same reason I was, and it wasn’t like I encouraged anyone to talk to me, because I wanted to be alone. There was one guy who people seemed to pick on, be rude to, and no one seemed to like. He was from another ship, and I didn’t know him but I would always be friendly and nice because it didn’t occur to me that those things would be widely interpreted wrong.

So, while I wanted to hang out alone he would come up and take up my free time and I felt like I had to interact with him. It didn’t help that I did pity and feel bad for how he was treated by other people. I assumed that he just wanted a friend, and even though I really didn’t want that roll I did it anyways. I didn’t think that I had anything to worry about because honestly I thought that he was clearly gay. This was back when the don’t ask don’t tell was still in effect, if you where gay or lesbian back then than you could have gotten kicked out for that but it was unlikely unless your chain of command was shit.

I didn’t think I had anything to worry about, I was only being nice and there is no way that could be misconstrued (sarcasm). He would only try and approach me when I was alone, never when I was with my twin or anyone else, which should have been a sign. He would also fish for information about me, but always in indirect ways, it wasn’t something I really thought about until after it happened though. The encounters had been creepy and uncomfortable but I just assumed it was me, that I should just suck it up. I noticed now anything that I’ve had these feelings that they were always right and I should have listened to them because they were a warning. However, I did not do that.

One day he came up to me while I was alone, and it was when there was no one else at the food court we talked a bit when he blurted out that we should have to be together because of something random that we had in common. It was crazy when the food court was locking up I told him that I needed to go home, and that is when he actually followed me there! This crazy person knew where I lived, and there wasn’t anyone I could tell. This is also when I lived on a mountain so while I walked/jogged up this mountain he followed me and easily kept up. Luckily, he left not too long after he got at the house because he had to go back to the ship for a reason that I can’t remember. But that was not a good experience, and to make matters worst the place that I was renting did not have a lock on the front door, and we weren’t supposed to change the front door because what if the landlord needed to get it. Luckily, it was when I put an inside lock on my door so it was something.

The whole situation could have ended up way worse than it did, but luckily it didn’t. After that, I didn’t hang out in those places by myself, and if I was there either my twin or our roommate was with me. Eventually, he moved on to someone else, but for a while, he tried to find out where I was and shit it was creepy, luckily it was before social media was big.

The next stalker I had was actually someone I went to school with who I thought was my friend’s cousin. Note this didn’t happen while I was in school this was about four/five-ish years ago. I had just started my retail job at the gas station, and this guy would come in and talk to me, I would be friendly because obviously it’s literally my job to be, but I assumed that he was a regular there, and if there is one thing you don’t want to do its piss off the regular. This was a guy who told me and my twin he was our friend’s cousin back in high school so I didn’t want to piss my friend off by being mean to her cousin. He was always someone that I and really everyone thought was creepy and annoying, but I figured he is a customer so whatever. Turns out he lied about being my friend’s cousin, and they aren’t related.

He came in a lot, and always when I was working, which didn’t strike me as weird at the time, but it should have since I didn’t have a consistent schedule. Apparently, he wasn’t ever a regular and he only started to come in the store when I started to work there, but I didn’t find out that until later. I also didn’t think he would take me being friendly and nice which is apart of my job as me flirting with him, which was further than what it could ever be, especially when I still found him creepy and annoying.

He ended up finding me on facebook and he started messaging me a lot which was annoying because I only accepted his request because I have seen him every day, and didn’t want to hear about it if I didn’t. Eventually, he told me that he liked me which is weird because how can you like someone who you really only talked to in a customer service type setting. Then told me that he thought that we should be together. Like what. I let him know that I didn’t want to be in a relationship, but that was not respected.

He would start showing up at my job a lot more, and asking about me, or keep trying to talk to me. If I wasn’t there or he didn’t see me at the register he would immediate message me on facebook. It didn’t take long for me to block him and his family on facebook, not that I had anything against his family I actually love his mom, but he is the type to use his family’s accounts to stalk someone. I didn’t even like showing up to work anymore because of him.

There were a few times that he would circle the store. By that time though, all my co-workers knew about him and if they would see him coming in or in the parking lot, they would tell me to hide. I was pretty bad. Eventually, he just moved his obsession to my male co-worker, and I told him better you than me lol. This was a guy that even his stepfather hated him, and talked shit about him.

Both of these stories could have been way worst, but harassment isn’t fun no matter what, and I shouldn’t have had to deal with it at all. I feel like as a female that women are always putting up with shit, and there isn’t much you can do to stop it, the cops wouldn’t have done anything if you are not physically harmed in any way. I am very lucky it wasn’t worse, but no one should have to deal with this in any capacity. It’s not cute, it’s not fun, and it shouldn’t happen. No literally means no, not let’s try harder and wear her down until she said yes.