Friendly isn’t flirting

by Tiffany | April 16, 2019 3:16 pm

I think one of the worst things about having a friendly personality is that people for some reason equal friendliness to flirting. This happened a lot when I worked at the convenience store, and the sad part I was literally paid to be nice to people, and it’s against the rules to flirt anyway. For some reason, a lot of people think it’s because the world is an unfriendly place and that being nice is somehow rare, and that is an excuse that people use, and I don’t think that is true. A lot of people are nice in this world and it’s not rare, this also makes it sound like women are only nice to men that they are attracted to, which to me is a really gross statement.

I just don’t like to spend the energy being “mean” or guarded with people but I found that is something that I have to do and not be as nice to everyone, because being just plain nice gets unwanted attention and is called something that is not. It sucks because as a woman this is something that we have to be aware of being too nice, being too mean, because they both get unwanted attention from men and other women, and it sucks because it shouldn’t be that way all. But it is.

The sad part is if I was actually interested in a guy they would probably never know because I really am shy like that, thank god I am not. I’m not a bold or flirty person at all so, that is a no. I would personally would rather someone ask if I was interested because like most women I don’t play games I’m not a child, I will tell you the truth. Don’t assume I am interested and then make someone’s assumption my problem. I wish those people didn’t make me uncomfortable for their assumptions. I’ve had men especially at work (customers mostly) ask me out like they knew I would say yes (obviously it a no), or hand me their number (I said no thank you), and various different things of that sort.

All of that makes me think of the women who got killed for saying no, and which is one of the reasons I’ve toned down my friendliness and niceness because I don’t want to be put into that position, not only is it uncomfortable, I feel unsafe saying no to men now, but I still refuse to lie about how I feel. I understand why women do though, but that doesn’t mean they are playing games because they aren’t, they are just keeping themselves safe.

Being friendly is something that men and women do every day and yet men don’t think that other men are flirting when the same actions are performed by them, yet when women do it is flirting? That doesn’t make sense, it means that a lot of men believe women are always flirting, and that friendliness in the case of women equals flirting. Which is ridiculous.

It sucks because I can’t be me fully because I have to worry about this.

*I made the footer mobile responsive because I was able to figure out how to code it 🙂

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