These are two things that I’ve talked about before while I never addressed call-out culture by name I have talked about it. Mostly by doing it, and racist family. I live in the south so a lot of my family is racist and I mean that they are on purpose, they choose to be and they enjoy it. Even if they don’t see it as racism, it obviously is to anyone with a brain. Call-out culture aligns a lot with how I and a few family members (and friends who allow racism/sexism/etc on their post) deal with these family members which is why I linked them together in this blog post. Also, to be clear these family members are also sexist, red pill, trump fangirls/boys, hate women (even if they are one), hates anything not traditional, anti-trans, anti-environment, and while they claim to be pro-troops they hate them if they challenge their core beliefs.
Why is calling out someone important? People need to be accountable for their actions. No one, even your favorite aunt or cousin should get a free pass for being a not so good person, if that was the case everyone would have a pass. Some people want to be a good person and want to learn why not give them a chance, also I don’t mean yell at them for their gross sexism in front of the whole family. Pull them aside and say that’s was cool and why it’s not, or do it in a text later. A lot of people don’t like getting called out in public and if they aren’t being directly horrible (if they are then do something then) and they get called out they aren’t likely going to be receptable to change. A lot of people don’t have the experience with racism, sexism, etc to have a valid opinion and they don’t know, why let them be ignorant of the truth? Everyone should be aware of how society sees them and others, and how they benefit from white supremacy and oppression, and how others are hurt by it. How all these little things that happen, or that they see as little that happens every day to poc or women aren’t so little, especially when they happen every day.
People see call-out culture as toxic or destructive, but it really not. People who see it that way are. It exists because women and especially black women used it on tumblr before there was a block feature against people who were trolls, against threats of rape, assault, and death. So, when someone trolls you, bullies you, or are you not allowed to defend yourself? No, that is bullshit and hurts the victim of all this and puts the perp. Obviously, if you would like to not call-out that is your choice, but you have a right too. So, many times I’ve quietly tried to address issues and be super nice about it even if it hurt me, and it didn’t do a damn thing. Calling people out was the only thing that changed anything. Not that my call-outs where vicious in any way because they weren’t they were just public and had a public response.
Why should we have to reel in call-outs like a lot of people want, when we should be reeling in bad behavior. Why dislike the call-out and not the actual bad behavior? A lot of people think that speaking out or calling out is angry or whatever when a lot of the time it is not and it’s simply just someone saying something they see as problematic. Though, if they are upset and angry don’t they have that right, especially when a white man can be angry all the time and no one care? Oh, but lord forbid someone other than that says something. We are all capable of growing and changing, so why don’t we? If someone calls you out or speaks to you about something you did that was harmful, why not listen and learn from the experience? Why not be a better person?
This is not talking about “call-outs” that are toxic and problematic already, that is just called being problematic and toxic those aren’t actual call-outs. Think the people who call-out Dr. Ford for being assaulted as a child, or when men call-out the #metoo movement and make it about themselves.
Obviously, a lot of people would rather stay horrible, like my family members. They are the ones who talk about snowflakes (#proudsnowflake) and are the ones who are actually offended by everything that doesn’t fit into their status quo and they are so sensitive. I’ve actually was a lot less direct with them than I am with anyone because of that because I want them to listen to me and I want them to be better people. Obviously, none of that worked and I had to block them. What is funny is the reason I blocked them had nothing to do with me calling them out, my twin did. I just didn’t like the way she was treated for being polite and nice about it, but providing facts and experience. She just got trashed and told that they didn’t like her as a military member and that they said in not so many words that because she wasn’t the type of military that they liked they don’t support her or others like her. Which is me as a vet. What is funny, is until my 2nd cousin’s nasty unintelligent friend started spewing hate and attacking my sister, my 2nd cousin was being nice. It looks like she just wanted a reason to turn around act badly and be nasty, I think she got her friend to do it on purpose so it gave her a reason. After that, it just became worse.
There is nothing wrong with throwing in the towel and blocking people who will never change. Which is what my twin and I did. That was only one moment of it, there has been multiple instances of this and none of them help, they didn’t become better people they became worst. I don’t want to live my life with that pitiful and negative gross behavior from people who don’t really love anything but themselves and wanting to believe that red pill shit. I know since blocking them I have felt better, and now I can focus on people who want to learn and become a better person.